Center of the Earth

Friend asked juha :  if you are a genius,can you tell me where is the center of the earth ?
juha answered : yes i do , the question is very easy .
 friend  : ok my friend ; but Where is ?
juha said : Directly under the right hoof of my donkey.
friend : What! How can you be so sure?
juha : good . if you don’t believe me, you can measure it for yourself.

A friend asked juha : how old are you juha?
 juha replied : fifty years old.
  The friend said, but you said the same thing two years ago!
juha answered : Yes friend , I always stand by what I have said.

on the way to town. Juha and two other travelers stopped to eat the lunches each of them had packed for their journey.
One of the travelers bragged: I only eat roasted salted pistachios, cashews, and dates.
The other said: Well, I only eat dried salmon.
Then both men looked at Juha, waiting to hear what he would say.
Juha said: are you sure?
 Juha held up a piece of bread and confidently announced: ok my friends, I only eat wheat, ground up and carefully mixed with water, yeast, and salt, and then baked at the proper temperature for the proper time.

Juha was taking a walk with his son; after a few minutes they saw an egg lying on the ground.
in this time the boy asked his father:
- how do the birds get into the egg?
Juha said: you add another problem son answered: why father?
Juha replied: I've been asking myself all my life how the birds got out of the egg and now here you are giving me another problem to solve!

juha jumped on his donkey, and  was carrying some heavy saddlebags on his back.

one neighbour said : what happened juha?
juha answered : why my neighbour?
 neighbour : Why don’t you put the saddlebags on your donkey’s back?

juha : Are you crazy? in addition to carrying me, you want my donkey to carry the saddlebags as well?

juhhaa video

One day Juha was being a  Judge in this town
a few days later ,Two persons came to him. The first clarified this problem and explained  his point of view convincingly. At the end Juha said:
  -You are right! I agree with you
 in this time the second person came and explained everything convincingly from his point of view. At the end Juha said: 
You are right! I agree with you.
 but  Juha's wife was beside him and said: Juha! what's this, it's impossible, and They can't both be right. 
 Juha turned to his wife and said :  ok my wife . You are right also.....

Juha being a poor man, once rented a humble small house. He slept with his family on the floor as there was no furniture or blankets. One day he was walking with his son in a funaral procession. The wife of the dead man was screaming:
 -  Where are you taking my husband?, You are taking him to an empty cold place.
Juha's son turned to his father and asked: 
 - dad ,i think they are taking this man to our house.

Juha bought ten donkeys at the market. He wanted to take them to his farm outside the town. He jumped on the back of one to ride it. To make sure he had all of them, he began to count. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9. Juha jumped down to look for the lost one. He counted again. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! They were all there! He jumped back up. Just to make sure, he counted again. Only 9 again. He got down and counted. All ten.
finally ;Juha shrugged his shoulders and decided to walk and he said : I walk and have all ten; better  than I ride a donkey  and lose one .

Two friends came to visit Juha just as he was frying himself some quails.
 - This dish lacks salt .  said one friend after he had picked a bird out of the pan and tasted it.
 - It also lacks vinegar.  said the second friend, biting into another quail. Taking the last quail
  Juha said : but now , this dish lacks quails.

a neighbour asked juha:
juha! What do they do with the old full moons?
juha answered :
- They cut them up into small pieces and make the star

un homme a  trouvé juha dans sa ferme ;  juha avait déjà empli la moitié d’un sac d’oignons et en cueillait encore quand le jardinier empoigna par le collet le voleur occasionnel.
le propriétaire du jardin demanda à juha :
– Que faites-vous ici ?
 juha répond : rien ; Je passais par là, quand une bourrasque m’a arraché pour me jeter dans ce carré d’oignons.
– Admettons et ensuite ? 
– Ensuite ?? Ensuite le vent était si fort que j’ai été obligé de m’attraper à ces oignons qui s’arrachaient à chaque fois, vous savez, ils sont beaux, vos oignons !
– Expliquez-moi, comment ils sont arrivés dans ce
sac.
– hhhhhhmmmmm ! Je ne sais pas, je n’ai pas encore
pensé à ça !
Il reçoit alors une volée de coups de bâton et se sauve en hurlant de douleur.

juha a perdu son âne
juha a perdu son âne, mais au lieu de le chercher, il parcourt les rues de la ville en criant :
  Louange à Dieu le Clément ! Louange à Dieu le Miséricordieux !
Connaissant l’attachement de juha pour son âne, les voisins sont surpris et demandent à juha :
   Pourquoi ces louanges à Dieu ? Tu ne devrais pas plutôt demander Son aide pour retrouver ton âne ?
juha dit : Vous n’avez rien compris,  Je remercie Dieu de ne pas m’être trouvé sur son dos quand il a disparu. Sinon, c’est moi qui aurai été perdu

  juha went to see a rich man.
 - Give me some money.
  rich man :Why?
 juha : I want to buy ... an elephant.'
If you have no money,you can't afford to keep an elephant. 
juha said : I came here, to get money,no
advice.

 One day juha went to a banquet. As he was dressed rather shabbily, no one let him in. So he ran to home, he wore his best robe and fur coat and returned. Immediately, the host came over, and  greeted him
and ushered him to the head of an elaborate banquet table.
 When the food was served, juha took some soup with spoon and pushed it to the his clothes; and juha  said :
- Eat my fur coat, eat! ; i think It's obvious that you're the real guest of honor today, not me

juha lost his donkey, and began praying to God, saying : please my god ; If you help me to find my lost donkey, I will donate a thousand dollars to charity.A three hours later, juha found the donkey in a river far from his house, and then prayed again, this time saying : thank you God, I am grateful for your help. In fact, I promise to donate the original thousand dollars I pledged, plus an addition thousand dollars, if you help me find ten thousand dollars.

Juha and the Donkey
One day a neighbor came to Juha's house and asked,  Will you let me borrow your donkey for one day? please .
  Juha said: much as I should like to be of service and assistance to a man so honorable as you, I regret that my donkey is not here today ; sorry my neighbor i can't 
Just as Juha uttered these words, his donkey started braying in his backyard. Hearing the sound, his friend gave him an accusing look, to which Juha replied :

The person who trusts at my donkey. And do not trust me. Not worth my donkey.

Friend asked juha : juha , I heard that you have a barrel of thirty year old vinegar. Is it true?
juha answered : Yes i have .
Friend said : Can you give  some vinegar?
juha : No ; i can't , and it's impossible
Friend : Why not my freind juha?
juha said : because, it’s just the principal of the matter.
Friend: What do you mean? What this  principle?
juha answered : The principle that if I had given some vinegar to everyone who asked me for some, I would not have any thirty year old vinegar.
friend : oohh yes , you are right juha.

juha once lost his donkey. He couldn’t find it anywhere. As he went around the city searching for it, he kept on saying  : Thanks be to Allah! Thanks be to Allah! 

 all the People were surprised to find him giving thanks to Allah when he had lost his donkey. They asked him : O juha, why are you saying =Thanks be to Allah = when you have lost your donkey? Surely that is not something to thank Allah for.

 - juha answered : of course , I am thanking Allah, because I was not riding it, or I too would be lost with it .